


The Old One, Two, Two Two

by eleanorb



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hellblazer
Genre: Gen, London
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-16
Updated: 2012-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-31 07:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleanorb/pseuds/eleanorb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Constantine catches up with an old friend. Buffy/Hellblazer Xover</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Old One, Two, Two Two

There are times when your past comes back to haunt you like the proverbial spectre at the feast. I have to admit, it's a situation I'm not unfamiliar with and it's usually a sodding pain in the arse.

Course, it's not always like that. Sometimes it just rings the phone you thought only the dead had the number of.

Tell you the truth some days it makes me a bit wary of picking it up.

"John? It's Rupert Giles. You remember..."

There's a pause. I remember. Posh boy slumming it with his faux-Cockney accent and his pretty boyfriend. Chaos and anger under the lippy and the eyeliner. Low slung bass, kitchen sink rebellion. We got on like a house on fire, quite literally on one occasion. But that's not a story I'd tell without a lawyer being present. So don't ask, OK?

"...Ripper. I need your help."

Why am I not surprised? Cosmic payback for all the favours I've called in over the last few years? Well I'm about due.

We agree to meet in The Duke of Argyle on Rathbone Street, somewhere that hasn't changed since the seventies.

The eighteen seventies. The nicotine's thicker than the wallpaper and the carpet's probably seen more beer than the patrons. There is one concession to the modern world but the TV's tuned to a sports channel showing 'women's' bowls from Glenrothes' which is likely to drive away even the most ardent sports fan.

So it's about as private as you'll get and the deaf old geezer poisoning his Jack Russell with crisps isn't going to bother us.

I pull out a fag and it gets lit before I can flick the wheel on my lighter.

He has a pint of Pride in each hand. Showy bastard!

"I thought you might not recognise me." He's all apologies now but that doesn't excuse the wizarding one-upmanship. Living near Hollywood has clearly gone to his head.

He's got older. Haven't we all? Of course, it's still preferable to the alternatives. But, he's still got it, behind the tweed, behind the specs; power, kept in check by the discipline of a public school education. I'd recognise him anywhere.

He pushes the pint across the table and looks me over.

"What can I say? The last few years haven't been a cakewalk."

"Believe me, John, I understand." He sits, carefully, like there's something in him on the verge of breaking and gestures at my cigarette.

"May I?"

I fish out another Silk Cut. After it's lit, the smoke wreaths round his head like he's the Devil himself. He's not, but you meet a lot of interesting people in my line of work.

"So?"

"So, I need some books from the Watcher's library."

"And they took away your library card."

He smiles. "Well a little more than that, actually. But in essence, yes."

"I heard."

"Oh, I hadn't realised it was common knowledge."

"I know a lot of common people."

"I heard."

Touche. "So you want to do a Paul Burrell and nick your former employers toys? Can't say I'm up for the old Raffles' gig, even for a mate." I'm winding him up. Those prissy bastards have got it coming with their constant meddling. If there's one thing I can't stand it's people who think just because they've got the biggest occult collection in the world that they know better than the rest of us.

"Oh, come on John, this is important. Besides, when has a little B&E ever bothered you before?"

"It's not what you're doing, it's who you're doing it to. That place hasn't exactly got a conventional security system." Though it is one I've been itching to test for years.

"I know that."

"It's so well protected, the birds don't even shit on the roof. What makes you think we've got a chance?"

"There's a way in, through the sewers. Actually, " he muses, " Sunnydale has made me surprisingly adept at underground entrances."

"I really don't want to know, mate."

He looks a bit misty eyed for a moment. " Ethan and I worked it out in our second year. But it needs two people to cast spells simultaneously."

"And how is the camp old bugger?"

"Gone."

In the magical world that could mean anything. Whatever happened is clearly a lot more complicated than the grapevine tells it. So I don't push it.

"So, let's get this straight. " I take another sip of my pint. " We're going to break into one of the most magically guarded buildings in London, Department of Trade and Industry excepted, to pinch a few books off the restricted shelves?"

"Not just any books."

He passes me a sheet of paper and even though it's a cliche I can't help whistling. The Jack Russell pricks up its ears.

"Stone me! You're not messing about, are you."

"The Apocalypse is coming, John. Can't you feel it?"

"The Apocalypse is always fucking coming. What makes this any different?"

"This does!" He stabs his finger on one of the titles. " The Book of Ya `Alim. Decoded, it gives a date, a time and as damn near a map reference as you'd want. And it says it can be stopped."

"Call me cynical but what's in it for me?"

"Averting the Apocalypse isn't enough?"

"And betray my Scouse heritage?" It's not as much of a joke as I'd like.

"John Dee's working diaries. The ones he kept hidden from Kelly."

"They're long gone. If the Watcher's had them they couldn't resist gloating. Everyone and their familiar would know."

"They don't know they have them. They're mis-catalogued."

"Another lucky discovery?"

"I didn't train as a librarian just for cover you know. They're with boxes of late 1590's accounting records from Christ's College, Manchester. Stuff no one would look at in a month of Sunday's."

"OK. That fits he was warden then. Go on then, tell me how we're going to do it."

I'm hooked, but you knew I would be, right?


End file.
